Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
accomplished twins. life is a go
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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