I think im going to throw up on grandma
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
