And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
