he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
