I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
