Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
