God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
