This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
