And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
