im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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