Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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