glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
