help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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