I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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