i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
