I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
