people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
