hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
