I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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