Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
