Umm I'm too high to move.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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