I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize