Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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