i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
