Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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