Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize