I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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