I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
