Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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