he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
