I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
