He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
