Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
