Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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