at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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