do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
