im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
