I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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