You're so nebulous sometimes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
