I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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