i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
