Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize