If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
