her vagine was all disorganized.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Randomize
