This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
