I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
