I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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