Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
