Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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