Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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