My room smells like vodka and shame
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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