Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
