just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
