i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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