i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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