Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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