the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize