ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
