"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
