dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
