I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
