Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
