Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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