I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the raccoons are back...
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