I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
