i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
