I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize